WHY AM I HERE?

Exodus 17:3 “But tormented by thirst, they continued to complain, Why did you bring us here?”

I heard a story about a 5-year-old boy who came to his mother and asked, "Where did I come from?" The mother took a deep breath because she had dreaded the moment when he would ask that question. But she was determined to answer it truthfully. So she started explaining in explicit detail the whole reproductive system, conception, birth, everything. About 20 minutes later, her bored little boy interrupted & said, "But mommy, where did I come from? Jimmy said he came from New York."

Have you ever asked yourself, “Why am I here? What is the purpose of this moment?" If you are anything like me, then you have spent many hours questioning the will and purpose of God. You see, I am the type of person that needs to have an answer. I need to understand the process behind the procedure, so to speak. I want nothing left to the imagination and less left to chance. I am a planner and I experience great anxiety when the plan goes awry. When things get out of whack (even a little bit) with the important things like finances, relationships, and ministry my anxiety surfaces in the form of intense moments of questioning God’s sovereignty (which is a huge waste of time, by the way). I will definitely ask, “Why am I here?”

The nation of Israel did a lot of this during their journey through the wilderness. They began this doubt even before they left Egypt when they complained to Moses that they were being forced to work harder because of Moses’ interference. They complained at the Red Sea. They murmured at Sinai. They griped about being hungry and they whined about being thirsty. Then they even grumbled about the way in which God was answering their needs. It seems obvious that they really didn’t get it. They struggled to truly get it in their hearts that God was in control and that he was directing them to their heritage and to the fulfillment of his promise to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. They truly did not understand why they were there.

It can be easy to fall into that flawed way of thinking. We can pray that God would direct us into his perfect will. We can pray for bigger and better things. We can plead for open doors. Then God begins to answer those prayers. He just does it in his own way. The moment that things don’t go the way that we had imagined in our minds, we begin to say, “Wait a minute. Where am I? What am I doing here?” We say this as if we have totally forgotten that we ask for it.

I have lived through the reality of this concept. When I was a younger pastor, I prayed that God would open new doors in my life. I wanted greater opportunity to touch lives. I also wanted God to refine me and teach me how to excel in his calling. These weren’t just words. I really meant it. The problem was that I had, on my own, concocted this idea of how that would happen. I had a process in my mind. And it started out okay. God spoke to my heart, profoundly. I packed up my family and moved far away from home. At first, it was great. I had never felt surer that I was following the will of God. But then, my preconceived process was trashed and, for a long while, nothing went according to plan. I am ashamed of the number of times that I said, “What am I doing here?” I complained and I whined about all the things that were going on around me. Why? Was it because God had somehow tricked me? Did I miss it? Was I out of God’s will? No – what I have now learned is that even through all the hardships, I was in God’s will. God was taking me on a path to answer all of those things I had asked for many years ago. It has not been easy. But today, I am overwhelmed with emotion every time I think of how God has given me exactly what I asked for. He has opened so many new doors. I have never had more opportunity to touch lives than I do today. God has refined so much of me that I often don’t even recognize myself. He has done so by walking me through difficult times that have burned away so many of the things that were holding me back. By doing so, he has taught me what it truly means to be the man God has called me to be.

You may be asking, “Why am I here?” Perhaps your best laid plans have fallen apart. Maybe life is nothing like the way you’ve dreamed it would be. Take heart today. Remember what you have asked God to do in your life and then remember that his ways are higher than ours. You may not know why you are here, but God does. Don’t give up. Keep looking to him. One day, you will look over the horizon and see his promises just ahead. That’s why you are where you are right now.